the write stuff

So you know how when you’re in a bad relationship with some guy, he’s totally going out, being beligerant. He had come into the whole relationship seeming like a good guy, really compassionate. Like he wanted to help you clean yourself up, stop hanging out with those guys, put on some nice clothing and get your hair and nails done.
So you go for it, and he seems relatively harmless for a bit.
Then some bad shit happens that affects a lot of people and all of a sudden he seems to get some kind of hero complex; like he’s supposed to go and help all these people. But weird-like, not in a red cross kinda way, but more jesus-on-a-cross kinda way, you know? So he’s getting all strange and and negative and stuff, and after all kinds of different shit happens,

you meet a new guy.
He seems like a pretty good, upstanding guy. Really couldn’t say much bad about him. You know a lot of people who’ve been friends with him for a long time, and they all have nice things to say. So you start hanging out with him and it turns out you like what he has to say. Turns out he says a lot of the same things that you think would be good for you – and he wants to be with you real bad.

So he starts wooing you, flowers, dinners, concerts, the whole deal and you’re thinking about this new guy. But
then the old guy comes back into your life. He just wants to keep you safe, he says; that’s all he was trying to do before, he swears. And you know what?, he says, that other guy just won’t be able to keep you safe when it comes down to it. He just won’t. When you go to the other guy, he just doesn’t seem to be able to find the words to say that it’ll be ok with him, that he’ll be able to keep you just as safe – even though you have a feeling it’s true.

What’s a body to do? You gotta trust words, and so you go with mr safe. Hey, at least you can always say, you said you would; I trusted you.


Sigh.


I guess in the end, that’s what it came down to. The guy with the right stuff on the inside was pushed away for the guy with the writers staff on his side.


But you know what makes me smile? That even though I rejected him, he still sends me emails. Little notes to let me know that he’s still around, still cares, still hopes for our future together, and still needs money.

God bless John Kerry.