don't park on me!

so the other night, we're looking around the east village for a parking spot, and holy crap, there's one in the most perfect spot ever.
less than a half a block from the apt, right in front of us.
so, we pull up next to it, check the sign, yep, it's good.

we inch forward to give ourselves some space to back in, and start backing in.
there we are, about halfway in the spot, totally on the diagonal - clearly taking the spot.

and up comes this fucking lady. in a bright yellow sports car, and pulls her car halfway into the spot!
(i neglected to mention this was the 'end' spot, so she was able to drive right up into the spot, something we had been unable to do b/c of traffic)

anyway, so she sees us halfway in and then proceeded to pull her car in. this was not a good situation. i was tired.
and riding bitch.

once it became obvious that she wasn't moving (and after much hand-waving), i knew something had to be done.
i got out of the car, and walked over towards her.
standing right in front of her bumper, i said, hey- it's obviously our spot, and we're taking it. so please move on.

the nerve. the nerve of this lady, what she said next.
she says, well, it looks like a tie to me.
(a tie?! a tie?! this isn't your fucking kids soccer game, lady! this isn't a three-legged race at your companies annual picnic, you dumb fuck!)

so i says, are you fucking kidding me? a tie? we were backing into the spot, and you pulled in. now go away.

so she starts inching forward. very close to my knee at this point, and you know me and my knees. don't hit them.
i lift a finger, and hold it up, in the universal 'hold it' fashion.
whoa, i say with a menacing look, don't even think of touching me with that car.

as i'm looking at her, i glance down and almost smile at my opportunity.
taking a step to the right, i make sure to catch her eye, take a really obvious look at her license plate, and catch her eye again.

hey lady, i say, get out of my parking space and go back to fucking connecticut.





that's right.
go back to connecticut.

and she did.